Monday, April 14, 2008

Stupid Large Burger

Stupid Large Burger
From: sturmhauke

eyes bigger than mouth
red bell peppers
2 slices peppered bacon
2 1/3 lb. ground beef patties
1 slice cheddar cheese
1 slice swiss cheese
1 potato flour burger bun
Beaver brand Russian mustard
incredulous witnesses
digital camera
kung fu grip
snakelike jaw

Get it into your head that you want to eat this ridiculously mighty feast. Slice the veggies and sautee them in a little oil. Fry the bacon until slightly crispy. Grill the beef, adding the cheese after the flip. Slather mustard on bun to act as a moisture barrier, and additionally add that sweet little kick to your teeth. Stack the patties, veggies, and bacon onto the bottom bun, then add the top bun and perform burger alignment prior to transportation to dining area. Comment out loud that this is a stupid large burger. Listen to cries of, "Oh my god, how are you going to eat that?" Pause for photo op. Perform ancient Shaolin techniques of Squeeze Blood From Stone and Dragon Eats Moon in order to compress the burger enough that you can barely stuff it in your gob. Chase with Tums.

No comments: